


But Now You Know

by itsobviousbynow



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending, F/F, post 5x07, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21612067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsobviousbynow/pseuds/itsobviousbynow
Summary: Kara finds Lena immediately after freeing herself from the fortress, but Lena is in no way ready to talk.This is the aftermath and the start of the conversations that Kara and Lena must share before they are ever going to be able to move forward.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 280





	But Now You Know

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't exactly wait until after Crisis on Infinite Earths to hear what would come next. Kara said that she has to find Lena, this is my idea of what might happen when she does.

“Lena…?”

“Don’t take another step.”

Kara heard Alex speaking over the comms,  _ “Supergirl you are not to engage with Lena Luthor. Myriad is missing from the fortress, we need to-” _ she took the earpiece out.

Kara stepped forward, ignoring Lena’s request and moving further onto her balcony, “Lena please… just let me-”

“That’s enough!” Lena brought her hand up, a small device in it and her thumb held over a button, not yet pressing down, “Get any closer to me and I’ll engage this.”

“What is it?” Kara asked, bringing her hands up but still wanting to step further in.

“There’s Kryptonite in the walls,” she said simply, “Encased currently in lead, but as soon as I press this it’ll be exposed and you will be weakened.”

_ “This is Director Danvers,” _ Kara heard from the earpiece still held in her hand, _ “Supergirl is at the Luthor Penthouse and there is Kryptonite. I need a team dispatched there immediately to-” _ Kara crushed the earpiece in her hand, letting it fall to the floor.

“Lena…” Kara’s voice trembled softly, “I’m not going anywhere, there’s nowhere else that I want to be. Please… I know that I messed up, I know that I wasn’t paying enough attention but you have to understand that I never thought-”

“That’s exactly it!” Lena screamed, sounding hysterical, “You didn’t think! Everyday when you came to see me you knew there was something that you weren’t telling me… you knew that everyday was another that you were breaching my trust, yet still you showed up.” Tears streamed Lena’s cheeks, “You knew that you were hurting me and you said nothing.”

“What was I supposed to say?” Kara said helplessly, feeling tears well up behind her own eyes, “How was I supposed to tell you? I didn’t know how- I couldn’t think of a way that wouldn’t hurt you-”

“We should never have been in that position!” Lena shouted, the words coming out a vitriolic venom, “You should  _ never _ have tried to be friends with me.”

The words settled between them and Kara said nothing.

“You should never have pretended to care for me, should never have built my trust, should never have promised to be there for me… why couldn’t you just see me as a villain? If that’s how you were dead set to see Lena Luthor, why didn’t you just keep me at arm’s length? Why did you make me feel safe with you?”

“Because that is never how I saw you-” Kara took a step forward only for Lena to hold her hand higher, leveling the device that would unleash the Kryptonite to Kara’s head, but she continued, “I knew that you were more than your name. The day that we met… Clark Kent, my cousin, admitted that the only reason he was questioning you was because of your last name and you said how you were trying to make a name for yourself outside of your family.”

Lena’s jaw clenched but she said nothing.

“I wanted to be able to give you that,” Kara swallowed, “And I loved the fact that you gave me the same. I wasn’t Supergirl to you… I was just Kara. I was someone that you cared about and that you looked after and I-” Kara closed her eyes for a moment, exhaling slowly, “I didn’t want to be anything else to you. I just wanted to be someone that you trusted and loved and felt safe with and I felt like I could give you that too but then everything just became so real and you were so important to me and I couldn’t imagine things changing so I just… didn’t tell you.” She stopped, hearing herself rambling and knowing that it did no good.

Lena’s arm began to tremble, held up so long and still pointed directly at Kara, “Get out,” she said softly, “Now.”

Kara took another step, “Lena, please-”

“Out!” Lena shouted, pressing down on the button and unleashing the Kryptonite.

Kara felt it immediately, pressing in on her, making the world squeeze in and every breath feel tight in her chest, “Lena,” she said through gritted teeth, “I’m not going anywhere. Please, I need you to know-”

“That’s enough, Supergirl.” Lena lowered her arm, the remote now at her side and the Kryptonite still engaged.

Kara could feel it weakening her, but the amount was so low that she still felt her strength. When she stumbled back a few steps the effects were felt even less. Lena wasn’t exposing her to anything that would cause any real damage, not enough to incapacitate Kara, just enough to keep her away.

Lena stepped back, another act to beg that Kara please just leave, “You’ve ruined everything.”

“Let me fix this-”

“For so long I actually believed you. I thought that you… that- that we were something real, something that I could actually hold onto and feel safe.” She paused, “I was ready to give you everything.”

Kara heard agents from the DEO storming up the stairs, getting closer and closer to where she and Lena were standing. She heard their weapons already raised, “Lena, stop this, please.” A tear slipped down Kara’s cheek, “I won’t be able to protect you. They’re almost here and they won’t listen to me anymore.”

Lena drew in a shaking breath, “As you never listened to me?”

The door crashed open, agents pouring in and more than one gun trained on Lena.

“Stop, all of you!” Kara shouted, “Lower your weapons!”

“Lena Luthor!” One of the agents called out, “Stand down!” 

They pushed in close to her, an agent that Kara recognized as Diaz forcing Lena to her knees, the remote falling from her grip.

Lena didn’t resist, not once. An agent picked up her device, pressing the button and disengaging the Kryptonite.

“Lena Luthor you are under arrest by the department of extra-normal operations and will hereby be detained under the authority of Director Danvers.” Diaz knelt, pulling out handcuffs and restraining the defeated Luthor.

Lena looked up, her face solemn and regarding only Kara, “Why would you do this to us?”

* * *

Lena didn’t remember being transported, had no memory of leaving her apartment or being brought into custody. She woke up, not for the first time, under the scrutiny of the DEO.

When she first came through to consciousness, Lena recognized voices that she knew were not too far away. She kept her eyes closed, not yet certain what was happening.

It was Kara,  _ of course it was _ , that she heard first.

“Get her out of there,” her voice was low, stern, a shade of it desperate that was unbecoming of Supergirl, “She doesn’t need to be-”

“We cannot trust her, Supergirl. There was more than enough Kryptonite commandeered from her penthouse to kill you several times over.”

“She wouldn’t do that, Alex.” Her voice carried the same intensity, “She didn’t even have me completely powerless when we were talking… It’s Lena. I hurt her and she was angry but she would never-”

“She is dangerous!” Alex’s voice rose, “I know that you don’t want to see it but she is too far gone for you to protect anymore.”

“Wherever she is it’s my fault… I’m the one that pushed her here.”

“You can’t blame yourself. You told her the truth and she was the one who wasn’t actually okay with it. She lied to you, she pretended that everything was fine and that she didn’t know, but for months she has. This wasn’t a sudden slip, she’s been planning this, building to it. No matter what happened between the two of you, no matter how many times she tried to prove herself, J’onn and I knew that we had to be careful-”

“Oh, Rao, would you come off it, Alex? This isn’t who she is.” Kara’s voice lowered, “She’s not Lex. She would never try to be… would never want to be.”

There was a pause.

Then a deep sigh from Director Danvers, “She stole from the fortress and then imprisoned you there. You’re too smart for this, Supergirl. You are too invested and you’re not seeing things anymore. Circumstances have changed and you have to acknowledge that Lena Luthor may not be who you thought she was.”

* * *

When Lena woke next, she actually tried to take account of where she was. The clothes she wore were not her own, replaced by something that had been issued by the DEO, something neutral that they could be certain she hadn’t hidden anything in. 

She wasn’t at all restrained, and for this she was grateful, but when she sat up it was plain to see why.

She had been encapsulated in a prison of her own making. It was a small cell, less of a cell than it was a box set up in the training room. Lena had been there before, under different circumstances, but she recognized her place.The walls surrounding her were the very same that she had been forced to show to the DEO to help them keep Reign contained. Even then, the start of their partnership, she had felt the need to be cautious. She knew that when they saw what she had done for Sam it would frighten them as it meant finally acknowledging that Lena knew more than they wanted her to.

Everything then had been for Sam, to help her, to try and free her. But now here she was. Even then, even with everything that she had shared with Kara, there had been no trust. Every moment of it had been a lie and she had been the fool standing in the dark.

Lena looked beyond the walls then, finally acknowledging the world beyond her cell, but she didn’t make it far.

Sat there, no more than five feet from the wall across from her, was Supergirl. She looked tired, her eyes trained on Lena but still mostly downcast. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it again.

They said nothing, just staring.

Until finally Kara began, “You didn’t let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” Lena said, coldly, “I know the truth.”

“But you don’t know my side of it-”

“I don’t care for your side…  _ Supergirl. _ ” Lena felt the anger seeping back into her voice, this was not Kara Danvers. This was not the person that she had spent years getting to know and caring deeply for; this was the person that had lied to her, someone who had been her most trusted ally when not even a word of it was real.

It was then that Supergirl stood from her seat, coming right up against the transparent wall that separated them. Her expression was soft, her eyebrows pulled gently together, and her eyes unimaginably sad.

“Lena, please.” The desperation was evident in her voice.

But Lena couldn’t bring herself to care. She had never thought in a million years that she would disregard that tone in Kara Danvers’ voice, leave her so hopeless and clearly wanting.

“What will become of me?” Lena kept her voice steady, “I can’t imagine being set loose after being the second Luthor to try and kill a Super.”

“You weren’t trying to kill me.”

“How can you be so sure?” It was a challenge.

“Because you could’ve done it.”

“I would have, had those agents not-”

“You wouldn’t.” Supergirl’s voice had a finality to it. “No matter how angry I’ve made you and how betrayed I’ve made you feel, that is not who you are.”

Lena took a steadying breath, “You don’t get to decide who I am. You don’t get to say anything.”

Silence passed between them, a stillness settling over the room.

“You are the one that did this, Kara.”

Supergirl’s heart sank. It was the first time that Lena had used her name, the first time she had been acknowledged as anything other than a caped liar.

Kara looked down, a weight settling in her chest, “You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you, Lena. I never expected that this would happen or that I would care so much or that we would ever end up like this.” She sighed, her fists settling on her hips in the classic pose, “When we first met… you’re right, I was cautious. Everyone around me was telling me that I had to be careful, but then you were nothing like I expected. Lena you were so good, so kind, so unlike everything that the world has tried to make me believe about you. I’m so sorry for keeping it from you for so long. Things were good with us, you became someone that I cared for so deeply that the thought of having to tell you the truth and knowing what the truth would do to you, I didn’t know how to tell you. There was no way for me to do it that wouldn’t break your heart and I just got scared.”

Lena said nothing, no longer looking at Kara and instead focusing on her hands which fiddled with the blanket in her lap.

“I was wrong,” Kara continued, “There were times when I would try to tell you, I’d think that it was the right time, but then something awful would always happen. You would be hurting again, feeling betrayed by someone you trusted or in mourning and I just… I couldn’t get myself to contribute to that hurt.”

“That’s enough,” Lena sounded defeated, “I don’t want to hear this anymore.”

“Well I  _ need you  _ to hear it,” Kara took another step forward, pressing her hand to the invisible wall of Lena’s cell. “I need you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I got caught up in the pretending, in how amazing it felt to just be Kara to you and how happy we were to just spend time together. I didn’t want anything to change, and now all I want is for us to be okay again.”

“You can’t undo this,” Lena began coldly, “You can’t fix it, Kara. You’ve ruined everything.”

Silence again fell between them.

Kara swallowed, sighed, her eyes downcast, “I know that I did.”

Lena looked up then, finally, seeing the hero as more defeated than she ever had before. She bit at the inside of her lip, drawing in slow trembling breaths.

“I was so in love with you…” Lena began softly, her chest feeling tight and tears welling up in her eyes.

Kara’s eyes snapped up, her mouth falling open. She made a move as if to step towards Lena but could step no closer.

“I was so ready to give you everything, to tell you what I felt and pray that you felt the same for me. To know that those moments between us, the intimacy that we had, and the safety that I felt with you actually meant something.” She blinked, tears falling heavily now down her cheeks, “But everything that I knew about you, everything that I felt about us was just a lie.”

“Lena-”

“It’s not you that I see anymore, Kara. All I see are the lies. All I am is the fool that you’ve made me out to be.”

A beat passed between them.

Then, in the most broken voice, Lena said “Why couldn’t you have been real?”

Kara’s heart sank. Her cape seldom felt so heavy. She had broken Lena, had done the very thing that she knew would destroy her. The times that they had shared had been so significant, so meaningful and truthful, and Kara had thought that they could just continue as if her admission to Lena hadn’t shattered everything.

“You don’t have to believe me now, Lena, I know that you don’t. But I will spend every moment that it takes… I will do whatever I have to to make sure that you know it was not a lie to me. It was never a lie to me. Everything that we said, everything that we did, everything that I wanted to be for you, it was real to  _ me _ . I’m the one that messed up and got scared. You never did anything wrong, you never would have.”

Kara held her eyes shut a moment, breathing out heavily, “I was falling in love with you, Lena, and for so long I didn’t see it.”

Lena’s eyebrow twitched upward at the admission, but kept herself otherwise still.

“As soon as I did, I just- I didn’t know how to make everything okay again. I knew there was nothing I could say or any way that I could say it that wouldn’t hurt you. I love you, Lena, exactly who you are. I trust you completely, even now, with all of me, and I’m never going to give up trying to prove that to you.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading and I'd love any feedback or comments that you may have!
> 
> I'm basically that tumblr post that's like 's/o to all the supercorps who haven't watched the show but know the entire plot' so I did my best to try and stay true to the story but as far as all the 'tech talk' is concerned I could be way off.


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